Dear single women, your male counterparts are also a traumatized lot. Give them a listen before you assume that you are the only ones who have it bad.
I don’t like going to weddings. The obvious reason is of course to avoid intrusive peers and older relatives who all have the same question in mind – “When are you getting married?”
Now, before I get into the details, you need to know why I avoid the question. A wedding is an expensive event to conduct. Judging by my present financial situation, I will need a year or two before I’m confident enough to spend that kind of money. I also want to spend some time getting to know my bride before I marry her. Is that too much of an ask? That’s my situation. However, my mother always wanted me, her firstborn, to be the first of her children to get married. More so because my younger sister and I have a six-year age gap.
A while ago, I was at a relative’s wedding, unwillingly. At the event, I dodged the many attempts made by aforementioned intrusive peers and relatives to speak to me. In the process of that dodging, I happened to meet a girl, and we got talking. It seemed that our parents got along well. It was a perfectly disguised ploy by a seasoned matchmaker who wanted to see if there was a potential match. I was, of course, oblivious to the whole thing!
A few days later, we received an informal enquiry – you know, from a friend of the person who knew both our families. I got in touch with her through a social networking site and we picked up from where we left off at the wedding. Initially, we chatted online quite often. Soon, the chats began to get monotonous and veered into the conversation death zone – where you discuss work, the weather, and wonder what next. The events progressed quite logically from then on – we barely communicated and then stopped altogether.
Another relative deigned to inform us that the girl’s family was not too thrilled with my financial situation. I was no longer a desirable candidate. The girl is getting married. Good for her!
Three months ago, I began to receive emails from a matrimonial site listing prospective matches for me. I was baffled! I didn’t remember having signed up for this. When I told my mother and sisters about this, they laughed! And then they told me that they wanted to formally begin the process of a bride search. They also quickly added, almost as an afterthought, that I should marry only after getting to know the girl well. I wonder how “getting to know the girl well” is measured. “When you know, you know?!”
I still haven’t met anyone via the matrimonial site. Every time I think if it, I remember a line from Sleepless in Seattle, when Sam’s son, Jonah pesters him about meeting Annie (Meg Ryan). Sam (Tom Hanks) asks his son, “Didn’t you see Fatal Attraction?”
Personally, I’m in no hurry to get married. Yes, I do want to be with someone in the long-term. It’s easy to make a list of her must-have qualities, but chances are I won’t fall in love with the girl who epitomizes those qualities.
I believe that if you fall in love, you are bound to fall out of it too. Is it possible for us to look beyond the “falling in love” thing? How do you know if someone you meet is “the one”? Relying on one’s instincts won’t take us very far. Finding that special person involves too many factors, all of which contribute in making the process entertaining and interesting. As of now, I’m going to wait and see what happens next. Maybe the next girl I meet will be the love of my life, who knows?!
Read about what another young man has to say about matrimony: Holy Matrimony! Conditions Apply!