One thing to take comfort in is that a struggling relationship is not the same as a failed relationship. There are ways to overcome moments where the relationship is not at its best.
As Rilke finely puts it, ” No feeling is final”. This too, shall pass.
Work on one, then two.
Remind yourself as much as possible: Work on one, then two. This is the holy grail of advice for any struggling relationship. The remedy is to work on yourself and then work on the relationship. This also reduces the chance of a blame game. Both should be accountable for their actions, and rightfully so. It is important to realize a relationship takes work. Some days, more than the others.
Be thankful for each other.
Gratitude is to really understand and be aware of your partner. It is to appreciate everything s/he does, whether it is making you a cup of chai when you are feeling low, or taking you to a party to lift your spirits. It is to be thankful that someone accepts you, loves you, cares for you, and respects you. That kind of love is worth keeping. Anytime you find yourself in a struggling relationship, ask yourself what makes you deeply grateful for your partner.
Forgiveness is key.
This is a tough one. Yes, agreed.
But forgiveness is a two-way street. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made, and then forgive the other. When the relationship is shaky, reevaluate whether you really need to hold on to certain things. And let go.
Throw expectations away.
When it comes to comparing your significant other, it is easy to get carried away nowadays. With the rampant #relationshipgoals or #couplegoals that showcase “perfect” couples, it is difficult for anyone to measure up to that. But with the constant bombarding of such content, it is not easy to look away. In doing do, we pin our unrealistic expectations on our partners.
Check yourself. Are you holding on to an image of how your partner should be? Or is there something else of concern?
Plan a special outing with your partner.
A change of scenery always does some good. Plan a special evening. Do something new. Go places. Experiment or stay true to nostalgia. Spending quality time together is crucial, especially when your relationship might seem rocky.
If you are looking for some pick-me-up, this might be what you are looking for.