Well, this is for all those single men out there who think they have no game, or are just looking for useful advice on finding a girlfriend. This is not a step-by-step recipe for getting a girlfriend, and these are broad guidelines rather than strict rules. They vary with each individual and may have to be tailored to the situation and the personalities involved.
Tip #1. Don’t be desperate
Seriously, don’t look at getting a girlfriend as an objective to be achieved. It’s not a marathon with a finish line. As most people in a relationship will tell you, getting into one is the beginning of a whole lot of effort that you have to put into (unless you’re lucky enough to find someone extraordinarily compatible). Living your life and doing what makes you happy goes a long way in preparing you to be a better person when you DO meet someone interesting. Be confident about yourself and learn to be happy being single. If you are too focused on finding yourself a partner, you emit a certain vibe of being afraid and anxious or needy, none of which are traits women like to see in a potential boyfriend. Enjoy your own company, because if you can’t stand yourself, how can you expect someone else to?
Tip #2. Expand your social circle
Networking is the best way to increase your chances of finding someone you like. Don’t restrict yourself to the people you already interact with. Consciously make an effort to socialize. If you have no ready-made avenues, try to pick up a new hobby. Join a dancing class, attend a book reading, or volunteer for a pet cause. The best part about this is that you get to narrow down on what kind of person you want to meet, based on your interests and values. One thing to remember is to never be picky about how you meet people. You never know who you’ll meet doing what.
Tip #3. Be a good conversationalist
How fun you are to talk to could very well be a deal-clincher or a deal-breaker. So, strive to be a good conversationalist if you’re not already one. Ensure that you are pleasant company, easy to converse with, and interested in the conversation at hand. Ask questions, don’t interrupt, and don’t use offensive language. Steer the conversation to stuff you are familiar with, as you see fit, but ensure she doesn’t lose interest. When people talk about something they like, the conversation can be stimulating and you’d also come across as passionate about something, which is an attractive trait.
Tip #4. Work on self-improvement
Consciously try to be a better person than you already are. This does not mean you lose your identity. Cultivate desirable traits so that you can feel good about yourself. This would go a long way in boosting your attractiveness. How to go about it? Hit the gym, adopt a healthier diet, read, and pursue varied interests. If you don’t meet someone, you would at least become a more interesting and attractive person.
Tip #5. Be a class act
This is a blanket term for being polite and well-groomed and following etiquette. There’s a lot that goes into this, including but not restricted to personal hygiene, dress sense, and good manners. For instance, don’t be a cheapskate; offer to pick up the tab when on a date. But if your date insists otherwise, allow her to pay or split the bill; you wouldn’t want to be a chauvinist, either, would you? Other little things that would say a lot about you: Whether you’re polite to waiters, valets, and cab drivers.
Tip #6. Flirt, but don’t be a pervert
To avoid getting into the friend-zone, occasionally flirt with the person you like, and make sure they see you as a potential dating partner and not just another good friend. But be tasteful with your flirting and compliments. Use your discretion to decide what makes a good compliment. But in case you don’t know, it shouldn’t be too personal. Complimenting a woman on her choice of dress or jewelry is usually a safe bet.
Tip #7. Be willing to commit to a serious relationship
A lot of women expect their partner to be mature enough to get into a committed relationship. Knowing you’re ready to commit sends out a clear signal to women that you are not insecure and are ready to handle the responsibility. It’s enough to prove that you are confident enough about your own life being stable. This would make you preferable over any commitment-phobic men in their lives.
Tip #8. Have a plan for your life
Having a well-charted life plan is a really good sign of your stability in life and it indirectly tells potential partners that you are dependable and reliable. Having an ambition does not necessarily mean that you are money-minded, it just means you are not aimless and that you know what you want to do with your life.
Tip #9. Be sensitive
Women love a man who is confident enough to express his emotions. They are on the lookout for someone who can make them feel like they matter to him. So, go ahead and break the stereotype that men don’t express their feelings. But at the same time, don’t be overly sensitive to the point where you come off as needy or emotionally unstable.
Tip #10. Be engaging and have fun
Lastly, have fun in your life. Place it above your priority of having a girlfriend. One beneficial fall-out of this attitude: You’re more likely to be seen as fun and engaging by a potential girlfriend if you’re at ease with yourself and happy with your life as it is.
Featured image courtesy of Khanh Hmoong