At a minimum, a matchmaking site is a useful watering hole, bringing eligible singles together in one place and helping them spot potential matches. It still falls on you, though, to make a move. If you don’t act, the window of opportunity may pass. Yet, if you make a wrong move, you may not get a second chance. What then is the right way to express interest in someone on a matrimonial or dating site?
We hear that question a lot. So, listen up, folks.
Here are some tips:
- Craft a message in your own voice. You should be able to picture yourself saying what you write. Another reason to be yourself: Should the two of you get talking, the prospect shouldn’t feel as if he/she was messaging one person and is suddenly talking to a different person.
- Be polite and respectful, but not too formal.
- Maintain a friendly tone, but don’t be inappropriately informal.
- Avoid cliches. Please, refrain from using stereotypical, lame phrases such as, “Let us know if you would like to take it forward.”
- Don’t come up with awkward translations of phrases from other languages, either. Shah Rukh Khan ruined it for an entire generation of single Indian men who borrowed his Hindi line and began propositioning women online by declaring, “I want to do friendship with you.”
- Make it personal. Don’t let your message come across as a standard message that you could have been addressed to any potential match. Throw in an indication of why you chose to initiate contact with him/her. The prospect will appreciate that you picked out details in his/her profile and took the time to send a customized message.
- The objective here is not merely to send a message, but to get a conversation going. End with a call to action. Better yet, if you have the prospect’s phone number, suggest that you will follow up with a phone call.
Here’s a sample message:
Hello. I <find your profile appealing>/<was intrigued by your profile> and would like to learn more about you. It was good to see that <we have … in common>/<you also lived in …>/<you also studied …>/<you also care about …>.
If the curiosity or interest is mutual, I’d look forward to striking up a conversation and seeing if we might be compatible.
You are welcome to email me at <firstname.lastname@example.org> or call me at <+91 …>.
I look forward to hearing back from you.
<sign off with your first name>
In fact, the default message that we embed within Jodi365.com is a variant of that:
Hello. I find your profile appealing and would like to learn more about you. Please accept this Quick Contact invitation so that we can safely exchange direct messages here.
Alternatively, you can email me at <email@example.com>.
You are also welcome to call me at <+91 …>.
Good luck in connecting with potential matches and exploring the prospects of a meaningful relationship!
A version of this answer appears on Quora.
If online matchmaking isn’t for you, read How to Find Someone To Date .