Enough with the theorizing, and the speculating and the characterizing.\u00a0 The juicy, exciting pages of the urban, single girl\u2019s diaries are coming right up.\u00a0 Now, it\u2019s time to let the tableau play out, in first person.<\/p>\n
The stage is set.\u00a0 The pros and cons weighed.\u00a0 Background checks done.\u00a0 Families convinced.\u00a0 The only thing remaining is to see if all that labor will turn into a wedding and marriage or go to waste.\u00a0 It\u2019s time to meet the boys my parents have selected for me.\u00a0 God, or Murphy, only knows what is to come.<\/p>\n
The stage \u2013 my living room \u2013 has been put together with a lot of effort \u2013 backbreaking to be more precise \u2013 and everyone is on board with how the afternoon shall proceed.\u00a0 Calling people over on a Sunday was just pure genius on my parents\u2019 part.\u00a0 The one day I was hoping I could get out of home and chill out at a cafe with my friends and complain about work and how much I\u2019m not saving, has turned into the day of entertaining prospects.<\/p>\n
My grandmother is excited.\u00a0 Her granddaughter is finally getting married and she will be alive to see it happen.\u00a0 How blessed she is! \u00a0The fact that our family elders have a history of living really long lives is clearly not a point of consideration for her.\u00a0 Everyone\u2019s running around frantically getting food ready, getting the house in order, hiding everything that can\u2019t be sorted out immediately, under the bed or out in the balcony where no one will see it.\u00a0 For just a few short moments, my apartment looks like something out of the pages of Good Housekeeping.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m sitting quietly in a room, reading a book, when the guests arrive \u2013 the boy, his aunt and the person who suggested this match.\u00a0 Everyone is greeted, and I don\u2019t want to be left out of the festivities, so I walk out to say hello.\u00a0 For a moment, my mother faints internally, my younger brother is too amused, my father remains stoic.\u00a0 Greetings are exchanged and it\u2019s time for my least favorite ritual: Serving the guests juice.\u00a0 Thankfully it was juice and not hot tea.<\/p>\n
For a moment, my life was straight out of the scenes of a Tamil film, I was offering a glass of orange juice to a mustachioed stranger, while my family smiled on.\u00a0 After that particularly awkward ritual, it was time to be sent off to a quiet, unobtrusive corner of my apartment where I could get better acquainted with the boy and decide if I wanted to chase my happily ever after with him.\u00a0 The first few minutes are hell on my ever-talkative nerves.\u00a0 If this were another social situation, I would have talked up a storm, but I don\u2019t know what to say to this person.<\/p>\n
A few seconds later, I figured, let\u2019s start it with \u201cWhat\u2019s your name?\u201d \u00a0It\u2019s the best bet.\u00a0 I look innocent, and he knows the right answer to this question, so he can\u2019t make a mistake! \u00a0After that, things get a little easier and I begin talking.\u00a0 A few minutes into it, he says \u201cDo you speak Malayalam?\u00a0 I prefer talking in Malayalam.\u201d \u00a0I mentally roll my eyes, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t speak Malayalam very comfortably.\u00a0 But I can speak.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pause.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour eyebrows are nicely shaped, do you visit the parlor often?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, I do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow often?\u00a0 Everyday, once a week, once a month?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t count.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know, no one talks in my house.\u00a0 We\u2019re very silent people.\u201d \u00a0(God, no!)<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you read?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t see the point in reading books.\u00a0 I don\u2019t read anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNewspapers?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u00a0 I don\u2019t read newspapers.\u00a0 They are a waste of time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRight.\u201d<\/p>\n
Someone notices that we\u2019ve been talking for a long time and decides to come in and say something supposedly funny.\u00a0 I cannot wait to get out of this conversation.\u00a0 Someone who doesn\u2019t think reading is a good habit cannot possibly be a good match for me.<\/p>\n
After a few more minutes of painstaking attempts at communication, it is decided that the time to leave has come.\u00a0 And he leaves.\u00a0 This once, my family, especially my aunt and brother, unanimously agree that it was a bad idea.<\/p>\n
A few months later, I met someone else\u2026<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n[To be continued]\n
<\/p>\n
Image courtesy of jit bag<\/a> via\u00a0Creative Commons<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Editor’s note:
\nFor other parts of this six-part Kalyanam Chronicles series, click on the links below.<\/em><\/p>\n\n