In this section of our single urban girl\u2019s diaries, we meet the family. A unit that fulfills the \u201ccan\u2019t live with them, can\u2019t live without them\u201d adage to perfection.<\/p>\n
An \u201celigible\u201d girl. If you were to go by the classified ads, I am tall, fair, educated and family-oriented. In other matrimonial forums, I\u2019m \u201ca modern girl who believes in tradition and family\u201d. \u00a0Samosapedia has this down pat under \u201cTraditional with modern outlook<\/a>\u201c.\u00a0 I\u2019m not quoting verbatim, of course, but that is the gist of what\u2019s on there. Who is responsible for these labels? Who are the people behind the creation of this public image? My family.<\/p>\n I come from a close-knit unit and we live in close proximity of one another. Ever since the wedding\/marriage topic became as commonplace as Sunday biryani, we attained a whole new level of close-knit. A circle of trust was quickly established. Let\u2019s examine some of the main characters in such circles.<\/p>\n That great\/grand aunt who has married off her daughters \u2013 she\u2019s a veteran in the kalyanam game. Her daughters are happily married. They are settled with their husbands, have families, and this particular mother has been through the same trials and travails as my own mother and is often a sounding board. This aunt is also someone who takes an active interest in finding young men for her great\/grand niece and will of course make the decisions, because, her niece\u2014my mother\u2014trusts her judgement.<\/p>\n The aunts and uncles \u2013 they have children your own age and are all possibly spouse-hunting for their children, or they\u2019ve married their children off. Be warned: Aunts and uncles who have married children can be especially dangerous \u2013 they will direct your parents to a host of astrologers, predictors and matrimonial forums, they will advise your parents on how to talk you into getting married, and they will instruct parents on how to approach angsty daughters. Advise, advise, strategize, strategize. It\u2019s an old game siblings play.<\/p>\n Grandparents \u2013 if you\u2019re lucky, you will never get emotionally blackmailed into marrying someone because your grandmother or grandfather is dying and it is their dying wish that you at least get married. Never realizing that they probably have a good twenty years and two great grandchildren before the cataclysmic event even occurs. But who are we to argue these things, huh?<\/p>\n Siblings \u2013 sometimes siblings can be the best support system you have. At other times, they are married and have a smug look about them because they are glad to have the family off their backs.<\/p>\n So there you have it, a context and a familial structure. Next up?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n[To be continued]\n <\/p>\n Image courtesy of\u00a0Childrens Book Review<\/a>\u00a0via\u00a0Creative Commons<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Editor’s note: <\/p>\n <\/p>\n
\nFor other parts of this six-part Kalyanam Chronicles series, click on the links below.<\/em><\/p>\n\n