{"id":515,"date":"2016-05-30T17:27:42","date_gmt":"2016-05-30T11:57:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jodi365.com\/singledout\/?p=515"},"modified":"2021-07-05T14:57:49","modified_gmt":"2021-07-05T09:27:49","slug":"arranged-marriage-experiences-meeting-the-groom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jodi365.com\/singledout\/arranged-marriage-experiences-meeting-the-groom\/","title":{"rendered":"Arranged-Marriage Experiences: When a Potential Groom Comes Visiting"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Times may be changing, but even with Indians also swiping away on modern matchmaking\u00a0apps, you&#8217;d think that arranged marriages are a thing of the past. \u00a0Not quite!<\/p>\n<p>They are not laughing matter either, as pop culture would have us believe. \u00a0Check out this video, for instance, in which a young woman&#8217;s\u00a0family hosts parents of a young man, to discuss an alliance between the woman and the <em>hotshot<\/em> guy.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yQsK_3YASyM?rel=0\" width=\"420\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>The tech-savvy potential bride, with the help of her resourceful brother, manages to get the real scoop on the potential groom\u00a0\u2013 in real time \u2013 and chase the obnoxious visitors away.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, it doesn&#8217;t play out as hilariously for most single Indian women. \u00a0Many a potential bride has had to put up with a barrage of embarrassing questions and worse. \u00a0We wrote about this previously, as part of our <em>Kalyanam Chronicles<\/em> series (&#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.jodi365.com\/singledout\/the-kalyanam-chronicles-meet-the-prospects\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Meet the Prospects<\/a>&#8220;).<\/p>\n<p>Take what some others have shared, online, about their ordeals\u00a0once\u00a0prospective grooms and their families showed up at their doorstep:<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s begin with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.quora.com\/What-is-the-craziest-experience-youve-had-when-a-prospective-groom-bride-had-come-to-see-you-for-the-first-time-before-the-wedding\/answer\/Juneja-Balla\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Juneja Balla<\/a> who had to undergo a foot inspection by her superstitious prospective mother-in-law (PMIL). \u00a0PMIL wanted to see if the alignment of the bride&#8217;s\u00a0toes would\u00a0bring bad luck to her son. After that, PMIL asked Juneja\u00a0to change into a <em>salwar kameez<\/em>, because she thought that a <em>saree<\/em> didn\u2019t look good on her, owing to her tall stature.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.quora.com\/What-is-the-craziest-experience-youve-had-when-a-prospective-groom-bride-had-come-to-see-you-for-the-first-time-before-the-wedding\/answer\/Parul-Dixit\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Parul Dixit<\/a>, talks\u00a0about how she was shocked out of her wits when the prospective groom\u2019s father asked her to demonstrate her cooking skills by making a <em>pappad<\/em> right in front of them.\u00a0 Prior to this bizarre\u00a0demand, she was also quizzed on high-school math and social science by the groom\u2019s sexist\u00a0father.<\/p>\n<p>Another young single woman\u00a0was rejected for being left-handed as the boy\u2019s parents did not want the possibility of their future grandchild being left-handed. According to them, such a child would be confused, growing up with a left-handed mother and a right-handed father. I&#8217;d venture to say that they&#8217;d be more confused growing up under the influence of such grandparents.<\/p>\n<p>An\u00a0outlandish\u00a0explanation that prospective grooms&#8217; parents\u00a0give for declining many a proposal, despite\u00a0matching horoscopes, is that many women these days wear eyeglasses, whether it is to correct nearsightedness or longsightedness. \u00a0Apparently, these\u00a0common medical conditions are viewed as aberrations. \u00a0It makes you wonder who is the shortsighted person here.<\/p>\n<p>Umpteen young women\u00a0also recount experiences involving to-be in-laws demanding that they give up work and become a home-maker, but while requiring that they have maintained excellent grades through high school, college, and grad school. \u00a0Well, we know now what characterizes a trophy daughter-in-law!<\/p>\n<p>Another would-be-mother in law insisted she and the potential bride\u00a0go into a separate room so that the bride could strip and she could check whether the complexion on the bride&#8217;s face matched with the rest of her body. \u00a0The matron also wanted to be sure that the bride had\u00a0no physical imperfections. \u00a0Imagine the horror! \u00a0The poor young woman was in tears, but at least her family did not waste time in ushering the other woman out.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.quora.com\/What-is-the-craziest-experience-youve-had-when-a-prospective-groom-bride-had-come-to-see-you-for-the-first-time-before-the-wedding\/answer\/Ranjani-Mani\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Ranjani Mani<\/a>, a Quora <em>sister<\/em>, recounts how the first talk she had with a potential\u00a0guy over the phone turned out to be a total disaster, as the shy, inarticulate guy couldn\u2019t even string words together into proper sentences. \u00a0Admittedly, &#8220;shy was coming&#8221; to him.<\/p>\n<p>Then there are potential mothers-in-law who hand out lists of the things a bride is expected to bring along with her to her husband&#8217;s household. \u00a0They may readily acknowledge that asking for a dowry is not only shameful but also illegal. \u00a0Yet, they ask and rationalize the demand by believing only cash counts as dowry, while expensive home appliances or even cars don&#8217;t! One Quora user was handed a list that went like this: teapot, sofa set, dining table, water purifier, cooking-gas connection, refrigerator, washing machine, dishwasher, air conditioner, and so on. \u00a0Worse, the groom&#8217;s family justified the list\u00a0by stating how they had to give away all those when they got their daughter married off a few years before.<\/p>\n<p>Our hearts go out to all the women out there who have had to endure such experiences. \u00a0Take heart; there are good folks out there. \u00a0And many already recognize that <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jodi365.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Jodi365<\/a> is the right kind of platform on which to find like-minded, quality singles.<\/p>\n<p><em>Featured image courtesy of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/e_n_gall\/11552782515\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Edmund Gall<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Editor&#8217;s note:<\/p>\n<p>Men also have had humiliating experiences when visiting prospective brides. \u00a0To know more, read: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.jodi365.com\/singledout\/rejected-grooms-arranged-marriage\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Arranged Marriage Horrors: Rejected Grooms<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>You can also download <a href=\"https:\/\/play.google.com\/store\/apps\/details?id=com.freeelective.jodi365\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"undefined (opens in a new tab)\">our app <\/a>from Google Play Store.<\/p>\n<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Times may be changing, but even with Indians also swiping away on modern matchmaking\u00a0apps, you&#8217;d think that arranged marriages are a thing of the past. \u00a0Not quite! They are not laughing matter either, as pop culture would have us believe. \u00a0Check out this video, for instance, in which a young woman&#8217;s\u00a0family hosts parents of a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":31,"featured_media":661,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-515","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-culture","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.3.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Arranged-Marriage Experiences: When a Potential Groom Comes Visiting | SingledOut by Jodi365.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The arranged-marriage process typically involves a visit by the potential groom&#039;s family to the potential bride&#039;s. Some visits are best described as bizarre.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jodi365.com\/singledout\/arranged-marriage-experiences-meeting-the-groom\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Arranged-Marriage Experiences: When A Potential Groom Comes Visiting\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The arranged-marriage process typically involves a visit by the potential groom&#039;s family to the potential bride&#039;s family. Some visits are best described as bizarre.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.jodi365.com\/singledout\/arranged-marriage-experiences-meeting-the-groom\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"SingledOut by Jodi365.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jodi365\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-05-30T11:57:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-07-05T09:27:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.jodi365.com\/singledout\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/matrimonial-ad.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Annu John\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Arranged-Marriage Experiences: When A Potential Groom Comes Visiting\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"The arranged-marriage process typically involves a visit by the potential groom&#039;s family to the potential bride&#039;s family. 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